Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Sibling Separation!!

We're doing OK so far...that is with helping Rits learn how to be nice to his friends. It's amazing how kids can change right in front of your own eyes in such a short time. If anything, Rits was the most thoughtful charming little boy, and still is most of the time. I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill but believe I need to nip it in the bud!

His week of grounding is taking a toll on him, as he realises how much he is missing out on. The hardest thing is early bedtimes, followed by not playing with his neighborhood buddies. He can play in the garden or on his bike...but, alone! Now that's tough for him because he is so used to being around other kids.

How is the Sibling separation going?

It's harder to achieve than I thought! As soon as they try to interact with one another, we have to remind them that they are not supposes to. I told Niks about his little brothers behavior and how I believe it stems partly from his negativeness towards him. I'm not talking about brothers fighting and not getting on....I'm talking about constantly demeaning someone, no matter what they do. Rits can be eating and make a slight comment about any topic, and you can be sure Niks will counter act with a smart answer and try to take merit. His aim is to make Rits feel bad about himself!

As a parent, I find this very hard to deal with because although I had little squabbles with my siblings, we still looked out for each other. I wasn't taught any of came naturally. Then why do I need to teach my own kids about this? We're not a family where we have fights, or use bad language, or watch anything out of the ordinary. Probably the complete opposite! Aren't children supposed to learn from watching their piers? I thought so but I guess they are exposed to so many outside factors that it's hard for us to monitor.

BUT, monitor it, I will! I'm on their heels constantly, almost like a bodyguard. I know they don't appreciate it, but they will, when they are older. I'm remaining constant in my communication with them....from the usual "sit properly, say please and thank you", to saying kind words like "well done, that's nice, great point" and many many others. I did this anyway, but probably not enough. Pointing out mistakes they are making, and giving them an alternate way to get the same message across, seems to be helping. I keep telling them that there is nothing wrong with the message, it's how you deliver it!

All this, along with the usual daily routine seems to keep me energized, I guess it's the green tea I drink! I'm managing to spend enough time in growing my business, and cook, and clean, and take them to soccer, and..........

As always, the list goes on!

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